My dad has this saying for
me.. He says ‘Chantelle, if it wasn’t for shit luck, you’d have no luck at all
my girl!” And he is right. I am not one of those people that happen to have
things fall in their lap, men at their feet, fabulous jobs being thrown at
them, cars that always work.. Life seems to test me at every turn. I have
learnt this lesson from an early age, and learnt to cope, adjust and compromise
as I go. I can literally make a plan for any situation! Because I have been
through them all. So when clock strike of 2012 came around I yelled out and
declared my prophesy to the world (well at least those in Albatross Street
Life turned around and said
“Oh yeah?? Really? You’re being a bit cocky, we’ll show you!”
So even though we are only
4 months in I have had to eat my words, & endure extreme highs and almost
devastating lows. And most nights I am physically tired from fighting, what I
feel, is and ongoing uphill battle just to survive! Yet I can’t sleep because I
worry too much about what, when and the greatest question of all “WHY ME?”
AGAIN!!”. But I awake the next
morning ready to start again. It’s a clean slate for the time being. I am a pro
circuit surfer on the waves that is my life. And every day I see how strong I
can be, how well I cope with what I get handed, and how efficiently I can
rationalize the drama and overcome it. And I know for a lot of people that
that’s not easy. And I am grateful that it’s something I can do without
medication or therapy. I didn't say I couldn’t do it without my wine though.
So the lows so far…
I was in my first accident
in 15 years! And no there was zero alcohol or giving of blow jobs involved! A
ridiculous fender bender, which left my poor Rckstar with R27000’s worth of
damage!! Poor baby.. Which would have been fine enough, if the fucking
insurance company, and panelbeater, hadn’t tried to screw me over in the
process! I spent two month sending snotty emails, making hundreds of unanswered
calls, and complaining to the National Consumer Commission AND the Insurance
Ombudsman. To no avail I might add, so don’t bother. Only to go fetch my baby
and have her presented to me with a broken windscreen! After many more emails,
phone calls and temper tantrums, and another 4 weeks, I finally had that
replaced on the original claim.
Then 24 hours before I was
due to appear in court for the finalization of my divorce, my lawyer’s offices
try to tell me I need to pay the account in full or they will remove my case
from the roll. This, 3 weeks after I received my first bill from them, after a
year of being their client. Needless to say he got a piece of my mind too.
Within 24 hours he saw things my way, of course, and I was able to get into
court.
And last week I had to play Nancy Drew when my son's very expensive toys went missing from his bedroom. Thanks to my investigative skills, and awesome letter writing abilities, I managed to track said items down to a house down the road and go and fetch them! Never mess with a mother!
On the lank kiff side…
I have decided to stop
procrastinating and follow my dreams! I signed up for a year long photographic
diploma, and I am in 7th heaven doing what I have wanted to since a
teenager. For the first time in years I have a serious hobby (which I hope will
turn into something more professional), and I am spending money on myself
because of it. For the first time in years I have goals and hopes and dreams.
And even though it’s all a bit scary in this unknown territory (I am so used to
putting everyone else first), I am fighting through because it’s something I
really want. Already my efforts are being rewarded and it makes me want to do
more and more! My photos came in 1st and 2nd place in a
competition I entered in a local business magazine, and I won two very nice
cameras, plus a course in digital photography which I have always wanted to do.
Then recently at our Town’s Annual Show 2 more of my photos were awarded first place,
in different categories. These 2 achievements have shown me I am on the right
track, and that I need to keep on keeping on.
Then besides that my baking
has really taken off! Who knew so many people wanted cake! Besides me of
course.. Hahhaaa.. I am having so much fun creating it amazes me! Me? After
spending years telling everyone “I wish I was creative, I wish I could make
things!” I am doing things I would never have seen myself doing 5 years ago,
and that makes me proud of myself, and my accomplishments. And trust me it’s
been a very long time since I have felt pride in myself at all.
And finally, after 4 years
of separation, my divorce is finalized! I said please and thank you and all I
remember the judge saying was “The court declares the bonds of marriage
dissolved”. Right there and then I could have French kissed that fat, grey, 60
year old man, given a triumphant fist pump and skipped out that court room.
So in conclusion...
I have always said “Life is
too short to be doing anything except that which makes you happy”, but I have
never put it into practice in my own life until now. And it’s true. Every day
we age a little more, every day we have lost time, and every day we could miss
an opportunity that we can’t get back. Unfortunately I am not getting any
younger, and I am scared I am going to turn around one day and say “If only I
had…”. And I don’t want that. I want to be able to look back and say “Remember
when…”
So, despite 2012 starting
off as dog’s balls, I have very high expectations of myself, and this year.
PS: If you’re wondering why
I haven’t elaborated on my son’s training, it’s because even though that is a
constant struggle, and battle of wits (unfortunately he is a smart ass like his
mother), I don’t worry too much about him. What I am doing works, he is an
amazing, smart, funny, gorgeous, awesome, loveable kid, and I couldn’t be
prouder of him if I tried.
No comments:
Post a Comment