I love sex. I have always wanted to write about it. But I worry that it’s going to sound mills&boonesque, or too clinical. But I want women to realize how absolutely fabulous it can be, and how easy it is to achieve a great sex life.
So where do we begin? In the beginning one would presume. The beginning being the very first sex act you experience.
When I was 15 my 18 year old boyfriends asked me to “speak into the mic”… Yes, I know, not very clever, or romantic, or subtle. It was a joke. But the joke was on me. It worked.
But at least I am not afraid of blowjobs now, my partner adores me for them, and I enjoy the power my knob sucking skills give me… Ssshhhh don’t tell him that!
Ok so let’s talk about oral sex. I know you want to. Get your cup of tea and join me. Feel free to interject and ask questions. If I can make one couple happier in the bedroom then my job is done.
So do you? Do you go down south on your man? And does he return the favour?
Yes? Good!
No? Well lets discuss that.
So many of us are brought up to belive that sex is dirty, and naughty. And we don’t talk about it. And we sure as shit don’t enjoy it!! The favourite response I get from this type of girl is “No sis man! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth afterwards?”
Well no, not directly afterwards, it would beg the question as to why my mother is in my bedroom to begin with. But there is nothing that a bit of soap can’t fix. In fact my mother considers oral sex to be when you shout “Screw You!” at your sp
So do you? Do you go down south on your man? And does he return the favour?
Yes? Good!
No? Well lets discuss that.
So many of us are brought up to belive that sex is dirty, and naughty. And we don’t talk about it. And we sure as shit don’t enjoy it!! The favourite response I get from this type of girl is “No sis man! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth afterwards?”
Well no, not directly afterwards, it would beg the question as to why my mother is in my bedroom to begin with. But there is nothing that a bit of soap can’t fix. In fact my mother considers oral sex to be when you shout “Screw You!” at your sp
ouse from the bedroom.
But do you want to know a secret? Most people do do it! And they shake your hand after having a wank too. And until you actually try it, you can’t begin to imagine how pleasurable it really is. So put your prejudices aside and give it a go. Trust me, your man won’t know what hit him and you will be rewarded with love and compliments into eternity. And in some cases flowers and jewelry. As for you.. Well let’s just say a good cunning-linguist can make your toes curl, your heart skip a beat and put a smile on your face for years to come.
So you want to give it a bash? Great stuff, I am so happy to hear that.
Let’s start with the basics. If you’re a bit afraid of jumping right in there whilst he’s driving the N3 home (which by the way is great fun!), and you need a bit of mental and physical preparation, try these simple starter points.
1 Hygiene is our friend:
Make sure all the bits and bobs are sparkly and smelling (note I said smelling) of soap. If you tasting it you being paranoid!
2 Get a haircut if you want:
Some ladies like to trim the hedges, mow the lawn, polish the stoep. It’s entirely up to you. Should you prefer it naturally that’s fine. Some prefer a timid bikini wax. And some, like me, prefer the full nude Monty, called a Hollywood. And in between
But do you want to know a secret? Most people do do it! And they shake your hand after having a wank too. And until you actually try it, you can’t begin to imagine how pleasurable it really is. So put your prejudices aside and give it a go. Trust me, your man won’t know what hit him and you will be rewarded with love and compliments into eternity. And in some cases flowers and jewelry. As for you.. Well let’s just say a good cunning-linguist can make your toes curl, your heart skip a beat and put a smile on your face for years to come.
So you want to give it a bash? Great stuff, I am so happy to hear that.
Let’s start with the basics. If you’re a bit afraid of jumping right in there whilst he’s driving the N3 home (which by the way is great fun!), and you need a bit of mental and physical preparation, try these simple starter points.
1 Hygiene is our friend:
Make sure all the bits and bobs are sparkly and smelling (note I said smelling) of soap. If you tasting it you being paranoid!
2 Get a haircut if you want:
Some ladies like to trim the hedges, mow the lawn, polish the stoep. It’s entirely up to you. Should you prefer it naturally that’s fine. Some prefer a timid bikini wax. And some, like me, prefer the full nude Monty, called a Hollywood. And in between
the timid and the Monty you get the Brazilian, the best of both. Its also ok for men to take a trimmer to his privates too. In fact many men are doing it these days. It looks neater and feels great! Also the Urban Legend amongst the boys is that it makes one’s member appear larger. I said appear, I am not making any promises ladies. A nice way to ease into things is to maybe spend an evening giving each other down yonder haircuts. That way you can both familiarize yourself with the relevant anatomy, as well as learn to let the other person be down there for an extended period. The longer the better girls! My standard is “Can you breathe through your ears yet? No? Ok, keep going!”
3 Hide the weapons:
No teeth please. Be gentle. At first. If you can see that your partner is enjoying your ministrations, then you can apply firmer pressure, use more tongue, insert a finger etc etc. Oh, I would hold off inserting any fingers into your man until he says it’s ok.
4 Listen…..
Really listen to your partner while you down there. It might be quiet at first. But let them get used to the sensations. You will soon hear what they want you to know through their breathing, or moaning (and I mean the “Oohh yes baby” kind, not the “I couldn’t find a parking at Checkers today!” kind), or if they are feeling confident, their instructions and guidance. This is definitely what you want. Soon you will be the master of The Vagina / The Penis, and you can turn your partner on just by licking your lips!
5 ENJOY IT!
Oral Sex is a great part of foreplay, enjoy it. It prolongs the act and helps create & nurture that bond between you and your partner. It’s also a wonderful way to keep your partner satisfied if you don’t feel like having penetrative sex, or you cant for those few days of the month, or if you want to surprise them at your Nana’s 80th birthday party.
So go ahead. Shock the crap outta him. Give him a blowjob to end all blowjobs! And remember....
3 Hide the weapons:
No teeth please. Be gentle. At first. If you can see that your partner is enjoying your ministrations, then you can apply firmer pressure, use more tongue, insert a finger etc etc. Oh, I would hold off inserting any fingers into your man until he says it’s ok.
4 Listen…..
Really listen to your partner while you down there. It might be quiet at first. But let them get used to the sensations. You will soon hear what they want you to know through their breathing, or moaning (and I mean the “Oohh yes baby” kind, not the “I couldn’t find a parking at Checkers today!” kind), or if they are feeling confident, their instructions and guidance. This is definitely what you want. Soon you will be the master of The Vagina / The Penis, and you can turn your partner on just by licking your lips!
5 ENJOY IT!
Oral Sex is a great part of foreplay, enjoy it. It prolongs the act and helps create & nurture that bond between you and your partner. It’s also a wonderful way to keep your partner satisfied if you don’t feel like having penetrative sex, or you cant for those few days of the month, or if you want to surprise them at your Nana’s 80th birthday party.
Don’t refuse your partner something so enjoyable just because you have never done it before. Especially if they have always enjoyed it, and now you are saying no. It could become an issue when it needn’t be. Trying new things, opening yourself up to new experiences is what enjoying life is all about. And you never know what you will enjoy if you don’t let your man press some new buttons on you too.
So go ahead. Shock the crap outta him. Give him a blowjob to end all blowjobs! And remember....
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